no room for being shy

IntrovertShyNever, ever put me on the stop, especially in an environment I am not familiar with or whenever I am out of my comfort zone. That has been rule #1 for me so far. What did it do to me?

That always gave me time so I could prepare myself for that event or task. It has delayed my action, but it gave me certainty. I guess there are pro and cons to that. But that’s the way I could create my own little world in a moment and get ready. For the last 15 years or so, I am on the move, never really resting. Always different people around me, learning different languages to communicate, different personalities to deal with. It’s tiring and it feels like a never-ending story. No time to settle down, every year new goals, new environment, new problems to deal with .. life seems to shape me and not as it should be, I shape my life.

I guess, being shy is my way to deal with new situation, new people, new languages (mostly new accents). But I am normally not shy for long, so being introvert might be the right explanation. I am just not the person spontaneously ready to be out there. Give me time, give me some certainty and I will do it .. I do it … just my way.

But then there are and will be situations, where there is no time to think, to get prepared and I will have to do things, that make me feel very uncomfortable and insecure. Maybe that’s something I have to learn now, that’s life too, isn’t it. Because there are too many things in life I actually can’t control. So bring it on, but give me time to recover … please. šŸ™‚