family

I might open up here a can of worms, but what the heck … yes I am watching “The Biggest Loser”. Why? I guess there are different reasons.

  • to see the mental changes the participants are going through
  • what is it, that actually makes a person obese
  • to see the different exercises and strategies the trainers are using
  • what makes the contestants to fall back into the comfort zone
  • and much more …

But there is one thing that was kind of an enlightenment for me. The weakness, errors and drawbacks they are fighting more or less successful against at … I have have them as well. I can yell at the biggest contestant ever to toughen up and get back to training as much as I want. But what I actually do is yelling at myself. I also have to toughen up myself and get back to training, back on track … just in a different matter. I can roll my eyes about that girls’ whinging and mock about her, how she is looking for protection from her mum. Then I see myself, telling my friend about how shitty work is and see myself looking for comfort. But do I do anything about it?

The other thing I have noticed that family can be such a comfort zone, but also your worst enemy. All these emotion during the show … it is a bit out of my circle of understanding. Ok, every family is different, every culture is different … but are obese parents more protective of their children than active parents? I assume that is a massive topic to talk about and worth plenty of blog posts.

But where I want to go with it is really what family means to me. Because my relationship to my family has quite changed a bit in the last year. And it just got triggered again by watching “The Biggest Loser”. I am living 16,000km far away from any family member I have. Do I miss them? Not really. What does it mean to miss someone? I would hardly see family even when I was living in Germany. You can judge me or my family now … but that’s how we are. I can’t change my family, I can only change myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but we’re just not that a hugging, hand-holding, peck-giving family.

I don’t want to be seen as a machine anymore without feelings. I think the right people deserve a hug, a smile and peck … and I want to share it because I mean it, not because that is an unwritten law in society. So now you will see me people hugging, but you will also see me refusing a hug because it just feels wrong. I need the right karma for that. Maybe that’s my sixths sense, hehe.

It was a very overwhelming feeling for me when I went to Fiji to meet a new family there. That was a completely new ME, you wouldn’t have recognised me. The warmth I have received there and the warmth I was able to give back (or at least part of it as a beginner) I surprised myself. And it opened up a completely new journey for me, a journey I am really enjoying. Now it is time to share that with my parents, because I think they deserve it. It will be up to them if they accept it or not, but I want to show and tell them that I love them. I can do as many skype calls with them as much as I want … it doesn’t beat sharing something that comes from the heart and you really mean it … true human interaction is the one coming from the heart.

Oh man, that will be interesting.