Tag Archives: passion

Lack of sleep

Thoughts of the day (edited):

  • unsocial me is coming out … accepting compromises so I can avoid people
  • some work is very time-consuming; especially frustrating when it is low priority work
  • Getting into the yoga habbit, but still struggling to avoid black tea with sugar in the morning; would be easier if there were any fruits at home.
  • yeah, another email from mentor … with sooooo many questions
  • metabolism still not back to normal, as I am now on 150mg thyroxin – still too slow
  • I am getting kind of upset when I am not able to attend even my online courses, however I did manage to write email to my cousin … but then I got soooo tired. Remember I am sleeping less than 6 hours every day.
  • Someone is obese and people say, that they look beautiful … what do they mean? The look or the person? Surely she might be a beautiful person inside, but she is still obese?
  • Why do I feel humiliated when they laugh about me? Or do they laugh at me? What’s the difference?
  • I am very disappointed in the German magazine Spiegel and Stern. Jungle camp in the top news? Is this what the nation has to know? Also, everytime you see at least one nude or nude-like pictures on their websites.
  • Yeahhhh, Daddy is back from fishin 🙂
  • inconsistency in writing the blog/journal
  • hubby busy in the garden, happy he is doing his part
  • If really everything grows what we have planted … whew … so much eggplant and pawpaw

So, it hump day and Daddy decided to come home from fishing … yummy, lolo fish … my favourite. Thank goodness for coconuts. But it also brings another hand for the garden. We did quite some clean up done and I could focus on planting and transplanting. As I said, if everything fruits what we have planted … I better open up a market stall right in front of my house.

There are moments where my introvert behaviour is very dominant. I avoid people. So what am I afraid of? They would say something, and then I might not understand it … the most awful feeling, for me at least. But what I need to work on extremely hard is not being judgmental. Very painful path for me. I am sure there is plenty more coming about that issue.

Work, I don’t like that word anymore. Because we need to understand that if we love what we do and we do what we love … this is not work. I have been giving the opportunity to only work on one thing, highest priority. However, other things come up, a kere kere here and a kere kere there. They know exactly it gets done. And yes, I love doing those things as well. So, I need to train our staff to be more independent and to not call my name for minor things. Good thing is I am in conversation with my mentor. And to work on that project, I really need to focus, put my mind into it. So sometimes I wish I had my own little corner where I could hide and do my work.

I am close to be on track with my thyroid again and the supplements. However, I have still in my mind to fix my thyroid just with the right food. Don’t come and tell me you have to eat fish. This I know … that’s not what is wrong with my thyroid. That’s another long story. I am still blaming my tiredness on the thyroid … too long under-functioned. Yes, I enjoyed the time where I was quite a bit hyper, but the side effects are just too dangerous. Being tired, is not helping when it comes to do some homework or evening school … my eyes are literally closing by itself. I am not allowed to lie down, I will fall asleep. Very challenging, especially when I want to put my baby boy to bed. ok, ok, ok … we leave it here. Will see how we go in the next couple of days.

Beautiful is a tricky word for me. And I just had to learn that a person can be beautiful from the inside. As I have mentioned above, I tend easily to judge people. So, excuse my words or when I hurt you … it is not the purpose of this note. I need to learn to observe myself. Every person has his/her own opinion about being beautiful. Yes, I am struggling with it when an obviously obese person get told she is a beautiful person. A person that is obviously unfit and unhealthy, is hurting him or herself and their families. That’s not nice, is it? So taking a picture, with a fancy dress and a piece of cake in front of you, doesn’t make you look beautiful (my thinking). This is just bitter irony. So, why can people comment on such a picture “oh, you look so beautiful”? I am sorry, I don’t get it. Maybe it is all about having fake friends to boost you confidence, I don’t know.

I am trying to keep up with the German news and so from time to time I have a look at the online magazine Der Spiegel und Der Stern. But what I see there is very disappointed. Jungle camp … a very low level TV show is listed up as one of the top stories. Really? Is this what this nation needs at the moment? Maybe I have spent already too much time with religious and spiritual people here in Fiji, but the nudity in both magazine is getting a bit too much for my taste. I need to change my source of information.

Whew, plenty of information and plenty of things to think about and change. Go for it!

This passion thing again

07f1afdb7e499306635943a0eadb79afSo, they tell you to work hard, to love and enjoy your work. Later is easy when your work is your passion. Even the bible says says to find a purpose in your work.
Ok, now you are doing all of that, but what if your boss is still not happy and/or your salary is still not covering your family’s expenses. How can you reach something in life when you feel like a failure all the time? It feels like whatever you do, no matter how hard you work, no matter how passionate you are about your work, it is never enough. How can you support a family with that?
Keep the faith, keep learning in your field of interest, don’t crash your ego or self-confidence.
However, should I question my passion again? I find it hard to always strive for more or higher things. I don’t mind being a student for life, but when do you actually practice what u have learned? When is it actually enough what we know? Are we as an organization striving for something that hasn’t been done before? That’s why we need to learn and apply new things. Could be the answer.
I’m just about to reach work. Learning statistics again.
Love my boys … Peace out!

Passion … is that why you are here on Earth?

Since I have started to dig deeper into personal development, I am struggling with the topic “Passion”. The pic shows one definition I like and can somehow relate to. But where it hits me is that passion really depends on the people around you, the environment and in what stage in life you are.

Years ago you could excite me for research and IT in general. Ask me today … after years of study, burn-out and brain-death … I am looking for something different. Be it Fiji, fitness, health, nutrition and again …. change of career (please don’t tell my parents yet 😉 )

So again, the question is, what do I want, where do I excel? Yes, currently I am running to the gym at least four times a week and my body looks accordingly (*proud*). And yes, I have started a course to become a Personal Trainer (PT). I have the usual people supporting me. They already supported me, when I was so much after MLM (still doing it, don’t you worry). I guess I am just not patient enough … you don’t get a certificate over night, but I am worried that I am running out of time. Really? I better change that perspective … it should be never too late to pursue happiness, right?

I know I am on my way and it has been a long journey. quite different to the journey of my parents … and that’s where it hurts. They don’t understand 🙁 and possibly never will. They accept it, but I have the feeling they expected something else from their only daughter.

Why should I settle for something I don’t like? I am not here on Earth to suffer or to live a mediocre life. God has given me a talent and I want to use it, because then I will excel and will be able to serve others to my fullest potential. Of course I was not born with a manual … it’s all about trial and error. I have done so many things already, some good and some bad … and all of them made me the person I am today … full stop.

Ok, let’s do it then … get this Cert III sorted and put Plan B in action 😉

What are your thoughts? Did you find the passion? same passion as 5 years ago?

Passion can be heard

Wealth creation seminars have been around now for a little while. Maybe after attending 10 of them, you might have discovered a common pattern. There are good and bad ones. You might have even found the solution to your problems and you did the necessary steps to grow your business or yourself.

One word that always comes up and is highly related with becoming wealthy is Passion. If you follow your passion, the money will come. Sure, there are still some missing parts, but over all that is a fair statement. I would put it this way: If  what you do is your passion, things seems to be a bit easier.

In the last couple of years, I was looking for my passion. The question is how do you do that? How can you find your passion? There is no clear answer to it, because it will be different for everyone.

I wished sometimes I could see and hear myself. That I could step out of myself, so I can find out how I look like and how I act like when I am doing something I love to do. I have learnt a lot about myself and what I love to do in the last couple of months. It surprises me that things we got told when we were a child, still affect us 20 or 30 years later.

I slowly start to realize and accept a part in me, that has been suppressed all my life. On several occasions I discovered myself in enjoying a process. I loved sharing my knowledge. I could feel it, because I felt comfortable doing it. Sure I am still stumbling, but because I know the subject and I feel it is important to be shared, I don’t care that my English is not perfect. I might be actually passionate about it.

You also will notice the feedback you get from other people. Because passion can be heard. When something is done with heart, people will receive it there. People will listen and want more. Observe yourself and others. How comfortable do you feel when sharing your story or business? Is it your talking or someone else?

Now, when I am scheduled to talk, I am more than happy to do so. I am proud that I reached this state in my business. I expanded my comfort zone. Time now to crack the next challenge.

How did you find your passion or are you still looking?