Tag Archives: thoughts

life in between

I have to sleeping beauties lying down behind snoring their way away. Between all my thought catching tries yesterday and today, I found myself observing my son developing his own mind, making his own decision. The best part is always when he comes and grabs my hand and we go somewhere. But yesterday he just grabbed my hand and then he paused thinking deeply. Here I wished I could read his thoughts … was it fear, uncertainty or I just want to hold mum’s hand? Those moments make it all worth it, I mean being a parent.

Today’s thought catching got a hug distraction by work … busy as we start a new year, new projects and unfortunately still so much left over from last year. Anyway, here some of the thought from today and still some from yesterday:

  • What’s the point of jewellery? People without jewellery just don’t know how to express themselves or do they don’t need to express themselves or are they not worth it. Or do they just value things in life differently?
  • humiliation is against human rights … so I think the public statement of various companies in local newspaper that a particular person (named and pictured) is not employed at this company anymore etc is humiliation and has to stop. I understand the side of the company, however this issue is an issue between the company and that particular person. The company has no right to make the life of that person even more harder by publicly humiliating her/him. Just saying … will I have the courage to repot to the Human Rights Commission?
  • Maybe some thoughts are meant to be lost, just to be found again … like a deja vu
  • There is something bothering me with that human needs pyramid from Maslow. Somehow I bring it in connection with living standards. Humans can adapt to everything. You can live in a mansion but also in a tin house, you just adapt. What’s the difference? The standard you set yourself? But what if I am ok with a tin house and my basic need of shelter is covered. And I put my prioritise more on the esteem and belong level. Ok, this thought is definitely not finished and might be even discussed with other, someone who knows what I am talking about. (Hard to find these day … I feel sometimes like an hermit)
  • That is something I am not really proud of, but I couldn’t find a solution yet. Like being judgemental. For example I am seeing someone, and I immediately make up my opinion, kind of the effect of the first impression. Of course it is not right, but how do you prevent this? The bad thing is that my thoughts are sometimes nasty and/or sarcastic. I am sorry, but a nose ring just reminds me of a bull’s nose ring … I don’t see any beauty in that. Prejudice? Probably. I just stop it? How? One of the things I am trying is controlling my mind with meditation. It is a long process, but will see. Might sounds bad, but hey … I need something to laugh as well, hehe
  • I am so not into following the flow, I mean the group pressure. If everyone loves something, I am mostly dislike it. Not because I want to be different, it is because I really don’t like it. For example another women’s hairstyle … everyone is praising it on facebook and I think for myself WTH did she do to herself. I know I have to be careful what I am saying and sometimes even what I am not saying. But I also feel guilty by not saying anything. I guess there are things you can say and other things you should not say … might have to check on that list.
  • When a disaster hits, is nature telling us something? We build earthquake-safe houses, soundproofed windows … so are we preventing nature to communicate with us? Shouldn’t we feel the wind and the rain? We are encapsulate ourselves away from nature. Something that needs more thought.

Looks like a lot, but these things keep my mind busy all day. I haven’t even mentioned all the recipes and projects I want to try, because I want to have a healthy sustainable life. So better to be on paper. Oh, and did I do the tamarind yesterday? No, hubby said to relax … I have to admit the weather is not helping either these days.

Time to knock off now … still have to pack my lunch!
Love my boys

Thought rush

tumblr_muye6vvzmI1sdpf42o1_500Wheeew, big thought rush yesterday. Couldn’t stop thinking yesterday after work. Most of it I could write down.

I feel good and bad about it. Looks like I love my job and I really want to make things happen for this organization. It gives me a satisfying feeling. Does it put my family into second place? I am working on it that this won’t happen. Things I learn and do at work I can apply at home too. And when mama comes happy from work, that should bring some good vibration with it, shouldn’t it?

It’s Saturday and I almost reach the office. Have a wonderful day!

Love my boys … Peace out!


20-minutes-babyYesterday I attended my first meditation session after a very long time. Several challenges I had to deal with.

  • letting go of all thoughts
  • not falling asleep
  • numb muscles in legs

I decided not to sit in a chair but on the floor instead. This position is better for my back, glutes and legs. Leaning in a chair would just help falling asleep. And also I want to live according my belief which is

sitting is the new smoking

. I don’t want to promote sitting in a chair, as this shorten the glutes and hamstring muscles and can cause quite a bit of lower back pain.
But back to the actual meditation. To my surprise I found it easy to relax in my mind and my body. Sure I had a lot of thoughts to sort through but I also could let go. Same for the body. I could focus on various body parts and could trigger to relax the appropriate muscles, especially my neck muscles.
So I enjoyed the 40min of meditation and I definitely will attend the next one.
Peace out!
P.S. Had a good night, my boy slept quietly just moved all over the mattress. Won’t be able to put him to bed for a long time.

Telling stuff

Sometimes, actually most of the times, my head is full with stuff. Stuff I want to express, write down and tell the world. It’s all said in my head, the whole story told. But when it comes to writing it down here or talking to someone, it’s all like crap. The words I want to use don’t exist, the stuff is said in 2 sentences and it doesn’t have the impact on me as when it still was in my head.
However, I still have the inner urge to get it out. Quality can come later … It’s not a beauty contest anyway and it will never be.

So, the first paragraph is written to make the statement and now I forgot what I was actually grumbling about in my head, great. What I’ve already learnt before is, saying that I will keep the writing for later won’t work, as the circumstances won’t be the same anymore and the point I wanted to make is pointless.

Let’s wait for the next stuff attack then.